She reminisced at the giant teacake its toasted fluffiness with butter oozing out of it, then stopped she was quite hungry, having not eaten since first thing this morning the porridge had rather worn off, but she was determined to write, even if just for a little while and try and order her thoughts from the day.
Her mind had been playing games all day, dragging up thoughts which were neither relevant nor helpful at any point in their existence. Understandably it could be argued that ignoring such thoughts would be a bad thing but she was a firm believer of the right place and the right time; and boy did her mind have a way of picking its time.
She sat for a moment lost in the thoughts she had tried so hard to ignore this morning, it was unavoidable they would come back but she still didn’t know what to do with them. It was largely her issue rather than anyone else’s although she was sure she was not the only one thinking it and feeling the same; however it still made no sense to her, she must try and be more secure in herself and stop abusing herself in the way she had been. It wasn’t so much physical, it was the words late and night and first thing in the morning, the feeling of worthlessness and wondering if the goal she had set was too high, could she do it? Could she succeed? There were plenty of people who would be screaming YES YES YES at this and not to say that they are not worth their weight in gold, but there is still the part of the psyche which casts doubt and makes troublesome situations up for its own amusement. There were many people out there again who would say that this is presentable, by living in the now, by giving positive waves you will receive positive waves and you can only take on as much stress as you can handle.